In an attempt to find a simultaneously palatable and nutritious breakfast for my son, I intently scanned the frozen foods section of the local Whole Foods. Ah…organic whole grain waffles. All the right buzzwords. Organic…always a good thing, right? In truth I’ve never been much of an organomaniac. I’m fine loading my body with preservatives, but somehow it’s different when you are responsible for someone else’s nutrition. Whole grain? How can you go wrong with that? Grain is all American, and it’s certainly better to have the “whole” of something than only part of it, no?

Organic Whole Grain Waffles

Seriously, just adding the words “whole grain” to any food somehow justify its consumption. You could have whole grain egg nog with whipped cream and some how it would be okay (I hope you noggers realize that it’s basically eggs with cream). Waffles to me are the quintessential breakfast foods. They are to pancakes what espresso is to regular coffee. First, they add an element of class. I’m still not sure what makes Belgian waffles different from other waffles, but I would rather say I’m eating Belgian waffles. It’s more likely to elicit an “oooh!” Second, they require a (potentially) expensive piece of a equipment to make, which is always a plus in my book.

Well, that equipment is required when you make them yourself. Which isn’t what I was doing. I was just picking the pre-pressed variety off the shelf from the frozen goods aisle. I should have given Owen more credit. He saw right through the “feel good about your health” label and rejected the cardboard-tasting discus outright. Which of course left me with the burden of consuming the surprisingly large number of waffles contained in the box.

What to do with dry, uninspired waffles? Waffles…waffles…waffle cones, of course! My mind was racing and soon I was hastily scooping coffee-flavored ice cream onto a freshly toasted waffle. Surprisingly delicious. And nutritious, of course (whole wheat, you remember). We’ll see if I can keep this up and still fit into my pants. Two waffles to go.

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